The life and times of a bit of a dickhead

yes it's a glittery egg foolThis week’s installment of Life in the Child Lane / Fuck My Life is brought to you direct from a week where I 1. discovered this glittering hard boiled egg in the pocket of my smart work coat, and 2. spent three distracted minutes rubbing John Frieda Frizz Ease hair serum carefully into my (unmoisturised) face. It’s not for faces. It’s for hair.

I fantasise about being interviewed. Lipstick? Check. Keys, check. What, this old thing? That’s just my glittery boiled egg. You mean you don’ t carry a boiled egg covered in paint and glitter around with you at all times? No, it’s not a blown one. Yep, this fucker has a YOLK. A cooked one. It’s actually quite heavy. No, I don’t intend to use it in a threatening manner, but seeing as I can see no earthly reason as to why it’s in my pocket, or how long it’s been there, I can’t really vouch for the safety or otherwise of anyone coming into contact with it.

So the egg was binned, the face was washed, and life carries on. Happy Easter one and all!


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