Squad goals.

To completely misquote some brilliant Coldplay lyrics, If we’ve only got this life, This adventure on the earth, What should we do? We do? We do?

Quite possibly not attempt to run a half marathon this year, given what happened at what I now like to refer to as the ‘pukey pukey 10k fail’ last year, but that’s exactly what I find myself considering taking on for 2016, under the hypnotic influence of Marathon Jenny’s sweet whisperings.

These aren’t even the right lyrics to the song, as I just learnt two seconds ago by googling it to check I wasn’t going to make a prick of myself by misquoting song lyrics earnestly on the internet, but if I’m honest I think I prefer my version.

So 2016 is looking like it might be the year of the life affirming/wildly over-ambitious undertaking. Historically, I’ve never really been one for public declarations of new year’s resolutions, in part seeing as because it’s my birthday on NYE I’m never normally fully conscious again until at least March, when mostly, the moment seems to have passed, I find.

But this year – CHANGE! Because, well – CHANGE!! It’s sometimes a good thing, although historically not normally in my family unless you’ve spent at least four years considering every possible outcome of your proposed course of action, and then a further four years planning how you will effect the proposed change before even contemplating telling anyone about the planned change. And then not doing it because Downton Abbey is on, and y’know – prosecco.

I thought this was fairly standard behaviour until I met my husband, who showed me there WAS another way, and that was to just have a go without necessarily applying too much time to prior thought or worrying, especially if your planned course of action involves knocking down large supporting walls in your house. What’s the worst that could happen? *I imagine he says to himself, whilst swinging a lump hammer at the 300 year old walls of our cottage.

Anyway, I digress.

The point is, this year is going to be full of public declarations of intent. So, to that end – I might write a book. Not sure what that will be about yet, but if those See you next Tuesday’s at Ladybird can make the bestseller lists with their ironic take on modern lives, then by hell so can I. (One hopes). If my as-yet fantasy book is anywhere near as truthful and amusing as ‘The Ladybird Book of the Shed’ was in relation to my dad, then I will consider 2016 a roaring success. That and not vomming on Jenny at mile twelve.

Aim high!!

(*all potential book topics, publisher friends’ phone numbers, humiliating-self-internet-pimping-advice and White Company discount codes to be submitted, in writing, before the end of January, when all bets are off.)


If you likey like my idiotic ramblings, why not join my sinister cult on Facebook, so you’ll get notified every time there’s a new post. Cult membership this way.

Dicking about on Twitter here

Pictures of my breakfast on Instagram here.




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