If you’ve made it this far I’m going to assume you want to find out about me because you likey like my blog, rather than purely for the purposes of sex pesting/trolling. If you would like to sex pest/troll me – I’m available at my design agency job at Lemon + Lime during school hours, and will gladly respond to all enquiries by attempting to sell you some new branding. If you are either Eddie Redmayne or Tom Hiddleston, I am available for sex pesting AT ALL TIMES.
Now that’s cleared up, what to write?
For the purposes of freely available internet based biographies, I’m a thirty something mother of two and started this blog to document the HILARIOUS, WITTY and FRANKLY INCREDULOUS things my children said in their early years. As they grow up, the focus has inevitably widened to include husband-based idiocy. I checked with him and he definitely doesn’t mind me “spreading lies” about him on the internet, so that’s nice.
A long time writer of diaries, journals, and wildly over-descriptive eBay adverts, I live in a building site in the cultural desert of Northamptonshire. The long term plan is to turn the building site into a page-for-page replica of The White Company catalogue, but until such time as someone gifts me significantly more money than I now earn /a book deal, progress is slow on that front.
I write how I think, which is hopefully at times amusing, at times contemplative and the rest of the time, probably just a little bit too wordy with too much swearing, but I hope you enjoy reading.
Despite being hugely embarrassed at talking about myself on social media, it is my stated intention to gather a small to medium sized army of dedicated followers through Facebook, Twitter and email sign ups which will be entirely free for the first twelve months, after which time I reserve the right to harvest your organs for future financial gain. Or something similar. If that sounds like your bag, why not follow me there too?
On a moderately more serious note, I do write for lots of people on a freelance basis. If you’d like me to write for YOU on a freelance basis, then get in touch below and let me know what you need and we can chat. Ideally fun stuff like features, articles, reviews of 5* hotels on the Dalmatian Coast, that sort of thing. But I also do a lot of brand comms, web content, scriptwriting and marketing strategy in my day job too so let’s face it, you take it where you find it….