Happy Birthday Dickhead!

It’s my husband’s birthday today. Unlike the year when I asked him what he wanted and he said ‘nothing really’ so he got, precisely, ‘nothing’ really, this year I have showered him with thoughtful and lovely gifts. My motivation for this was to stop him telling everyone he’s ever met about the time when his…

Family holidays: Do not do it like this. Please.

As my brother so eloquently put it with a grim shrug, “I’m just pissing out my arse now”. This is not what anyone had in mind before we set off for a half term holiday last week on Mykonos, henceforth to be known as Sykonos. We definitely all got very, very syk.  The plan was…

Parent Races

Last week my children took part in the local village school ‘Cluster’ Fun Run. The ‘cluster’ in question referred to the group of four local village primary schools which took part, although it did mean that for weeks prior I read ‘cluster fun run’ in my calendar as ‘cluster fuck fun’. As it turns out…

That small familiar pain

A lot of things have got me thinking about poems recently. I recently fell victim to one of the classic blunders – the most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well known is this: if you plan on one day being a world…

Threads

The day is like glass. Bright, hard and clear as we walk sunlit through loamy fields behind our house   What riches have I! speaks the fool, while the wise woman knows she has nothing but now.   Dark earth rises in welts like waves ploughed into chaos, as spiders gild with their silk shimmering…