Home, where the spoons are.

Last weekend I found myself tramping through the quiet graveyard of a historic church with my children in tow. Back visiting my parents in the village I grew up in, I’d just enjoyed a kind of watershed moment, realising that one day I would probably be back in this graveyard ON PURPOSE and not just…

Surviving a heatwave with children

Remember those balmy days of your past where once the sun came out you’d be in a beer garden sipping down 90’s drinks with gay abandon before you had even phoned in sick? With kids in tow, hot weather becomes infinitely less pleasant. Here’s how to survive parenting through anything above 18C… Sunscreen Approach sunscreen…

What would Beyonce do?

You can’t go far wrong in life if you live by the motto ‘what would Beyonce do’ but seeing as I lack my own collection of glittering thigh high boots and couture leotards at the moment, and Lee almost certainly doesn’t know all the words to Big Pimpin’ (poor life choices), we decided not to…

Land of the free

I have invented a new type of gun. My new type of gun is called a “nuclear bomb gun”. It will literally annihilate the entire earth when detonated, and be available for any American citizen to purchase, as is their god given right under the second amendment, should they need to protect themselves from others…

Ill behaviour.

I’m thinking of opening up my house as a weight loss clinic, after last week I lost 5.5lbs in as many days. My weight loss clinic is going to be called The Victorian Krankenhaus Poorhouse, and rather than having to do anything difficult like stop eating sugar you just turn up, lick our work surfaces…